This is an old blog for the Fighting Back Mentor Program and is no longer in use. Please visit our wonderful new website for current information about the program. Thank you! www.mentor-center.org

Clair McCune: June Mentor of the Month!

Join us in celebrating Claire McCune as June’s Mentor of the Month! Claire joined the mentor program in January 2012 after she heard about the rewards of mentoring a child in need through our Mission for Mentors Telethon. Like many of the kids referred to our program, Claire did not feel heard growing up and struggled with peer relations during adolescence, so when she saw the Telethon she felt called to help other youth struggling as she once did. Her experience as educator for more than twenty years, a mother of two grown children, and a child in a large family prepared her to be a creative and compassionate mentor and instilled a desire to help guide at-risk youth in making their own positive decisions.

When it was time to choose her mentee, Claire decided on a seventh grader from La Cumbre Junior High School who suffered from a poor attitude towards life and school, difficulties with peer relations, and who really needed someone that she could trust and talk to. Claire had all the qualities her mentee needed to help relating to her peers and gave her the boost in confidence to be a successful student. Although her mentee had always possessed these inner strengths, Claire helped draw them out by being a friend who listened, cared, and guided her in the right direction.

From the first day Claire and her mentee met it was clear that they were going to be close friends. Not only did they have a lot in common, such as loving the outdoors and a silly sense of humor, but they found out they had very similar temperaments and could instantly relate to each other. Claire could understand how the gossip and teen drama was made her mentee feel negative about being at school and friends in general, and she was able to help her overcome those obstacles and encourage her mentee’s personal and academic growth. Over the last year their special bond has strengthened into a wonderful friendship, and it is clear in the joy they feel in each other’s company that their relationship has positively impacted both of their lives. Today, her mentee is a very social and animated girl who always brings a positive attitude. She is eager to work on academics and has set big goals and accomplished them. Claire is an advocate for responsibility and has taught her mentee how to be accountable for herself, which has helped her become a hardworking student with the desire to learn. Claire is an incredible role-model and we are grateful to have her as part of the mentor program family! Congratulations Claire and thank you for investment in our youth! You truly deserve to be our June Mentor of the Month!!

Learn how to become a mentor like Claire at our website, www.mentor-center.org

April's Mentor of the Month: Molly Alliano

April has come and gone, and a new mentor of the month has been selected. Congratulations Molly Alliano for being our April Mentor of the Month!!

Molly has been matched with her mentee since May 5^th, 2009, and they recently celebrated their four year anniversary! We have been so impressed with her dedication to her mentee and the mentor program over the years and are excited to show it. This school year we hosted a total of four mentor trainings, only requiring mentors to attend two out of five; however, Molly has gone above and beyond the required trainings by attending all four of the trainings, including an extra community event held by CADA! Not many mentors do this, so we truly appreciate Molly taking the extra time to seize every opportunity to educate herself, share her knowledge, and grow as a mentor.

When Molly and her mentee first met her mentee was only in fifth grade, and this year she will be graduating from junior high and entering as a freshman at Santa Barbara High School. As many of you might know, junior high is one of the most challenging times for our mentees, and in many cases mentors have to work hard to ensure that their mentee commits to their own success and the mentoring relationship. Molly has done a fantastic job of weathering these difficulties, and throughout her match she has provided her mentee with the resources and skills to ensure she becomes a healthy and productive teen. From helping her with her homework to making sure that she is always prepared for Karate practice, Molly is guiding her mentee through the challenges of adolescence with consistency and grace. On top of her work as a mentor, Molly recently started to volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club of Santa Barbara after attending our Winter Festival in December. We all know that personal “me” time is a precious commodity, and for Molly to give up her valuable time in order to volunteer for not one but several youth programs is truly something to applaud.  This is why we have selected Molly as April’s Mentor of the Month. Thank you Molly for being a fantastic mentor and friend to the youth of our community!

March Mentor of the Month: Sally Green

Congratulations to Sally Green, our March Mentor of the Month! Sally has been a mentor for over two years, on our advisory Task Force for nearly as long, and just last month began mentoring a second little girl in Carpinteria. Sally joined our program as a mentor in January 2011 when she retired as the Principal of Canalino Elementary school in Carpinteria. She knew how important mentoring was from seeing it happen at Canalino, and throughout her 30+ years of being an educator, and was excited to give back upon her retirement.

Her first mentee was one of the students at Canalino that Sally personally knew needed a mentor due to her difficult family circumstances. Her mentee was ecstatic to have her former Principal be her new friend and mentor and they continue to have a special relationship today. Sally knew her mentee would need more personal and emotional support, rather than just academics, and has been a consistent friend and confidant throughout the past two years.

With her mentee now in middle school Sally felt she had the time to mentor another child, and just over a month ago was matched with her second mentee, a wonderful 5th grader at Canalino. Sally wanted a mentee who would be open to working on academics and meeting outside of school, and her new mentee is a perfect fit! They spent their first meeting getting excited about all the fun activities and cultural outings they want to do together, including visiting Santa Barbara City College and preparing for her future.

Sally continues to be a great supporter and advocate of mentoring in the community as well as an important member of our advisory Task Force. The program wouldn’t be the same without her insight from the educator’s perspective, and we look forward to many more years of working together. Her dedication to the youth of our community stretches back far beyond her years of mentoring with us, and her devotion to helping her mentees grow and thrive is an inspiration.

Thank you for everything you have done for the mentor program and your mentees Sally! You truly deserve to be our March Mentor of the Month!!

Mentor of Month: Jim Roehrig

Congratulations to Jim Roehrig, February’s Mentor of the Month! Jim and his mentee David just celebrated their one year anniversary on Saturday. Their story began when Jim heard about our program from a friend and decided he wanted to help make a difference in a child’s life, especially with all the difficulties of growing up these days. As a child Jim was shy, and as a teen he hated school, and wanted to support a child with similar difficulties. Ideally, Jim was looking for a younger mentee who needed emotional support and would be excited to hang out with a mentor at school and off campus. His mentee, David, a fifth grader at the time of their match, fit the bill perfectly. He was very shy and needed help building his social skills and confidence. They also bonded right away over their love of dogs, and David was so excited to take Jim’s dogs on walks together. Since they have been meeting, Jim has been able to give David more than emotional support, but also the structure he needs during young adolescence.

Jim goes above and beyond the 1 hour a week, and meets with David multiple times each week, helping him with homework afterschool and taking him on educational and recreational trips around Santa Barbara. Although there have been challenges, Jim works hard to overcome them and find solutions, and is always the best role model he can be for David. As David grows from a boy into a young man, all of the valuable skills and life lessons Jim has taught him will carry on throughout his life. We can already see the great impact Jim has made when David smiles and looks you in the eyes where he once just stared at his shoes. Jim’s great dedication, consistency, and sense of humor are what have earned him February’s Mentor of the Month. Congratulations Jim, you deserve it!

Valetine Card Soliders

 I found this craft online but I wasn’t able to find the instructions on how to create these awesome valentines cards. So I decided to create them myself and make some instructions for anyone who would like to create these sweet card soldiers.  

 What you will need:

• Red construction paper
• Yellow Construction Paper
• Red Marker
• Playing Cards or Index Card
• Goggly Eyes
• Two Red Pipe Cleaners
• Tape
• Scissors
• Glue
• Lollipop (optional)

I didn’t have any extra playing cards so I decided to make my own, which was pretty easy and cost efficient for me. If you would like to use playing cards then that is perfectly fine and will also save you some time.  

 The second step is to make a medium size heart by folding a piece of red construction in half and cutting half a heart out, this will make the perfect heart shape. Make a smaller heart using the yellow construction paper.

Glue the red heart upside down at the top of the card. Afterword’s glue the yellow heart onto the upside down  heart to create the face of the solider. Glue the googly eyes to the yellow heart and draw a nose and a smile.

Cut out two holes at the top of the card and two holes at the bottom of the card. We will use these holes for the legs and hands of the solider.

Cut your pipe cleaners in half, so you have a total of four pipe cleaners. Insert to two of the pipe cleaners at the bottom of the card, folding the ends of the piper cleaner behind your card. Tape the end of the pipe cleaner to the back of the card to secure it in place. At the other end of the piper cleaner, fold it to a 90 degree angle and cut it to make it the foot of the solider.

Insert the other two pipe cleaners to the holes at top of the card. Fold the end of the piper cleaner towards the back of the card just like the bottom holes. I didn’t tape down then so the soldiers could easily move their hands up and down.

Your card solider is now ready for action! I added the lollipop as a staff and a name card incase you decide to use this as a valentines card.

Happy crafting!

Luis Gomez

Mentor Advocate

Service as a Spiritual Path by Kanta MacDermott

The Fighting Back Mentor Program is a youth prevention program of the Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse.  I became a mentor in this program over four years ago.   My mentee had her ninth birthday a few weeks after we met for the first time. 

She was referred to me by her 3^rd Grade teacher who saw that she needed support with her school work as well as with her self-esteem.  At first we met at school during her lunch break and I discovered that she loved to draw and to play card games.  We joined other mentors with their mentees on field trips to the zoo, on the Condor Express Whale Boat and to Zodos’ Bowling.  We baked pies, enjoyed beach outings as well as our personal trips to the Natural History Museum and numerous visits to the local library.

Now in junior high school,  my mentee enjoys her new teenage status and seems a little reluctant to meet with me on campus, so we usually get together on Saturday mornings.  She plays soccer on her school team and displays much more confidence in herself . I look forward to our time together and feel privileged to be part of her life. I was recently invited to her 13^th birthday celebration at her grandmother’s home and felt honored to be included in this family event.

I feel blessed to have this young person in my life and this involvement brings me a feeling of service and spiritual nourishment.

If you are interested in being a mentor or know someone who might be, there are currently 82 kids on the waiting list. 

Please contact Ann Cowell, Tel.(805)963-1433 Ex.113 or

 E-mail acowell@cadasb.org

Mentor of the Year: Lisa Gosdschan

The Fighting Back Mentor Program Coordinator, Ann Cowell, told me while choosing the Mentor of the Year that she is looking for someone who not only demonstrates the time commitment to their mentee, but a commitment to the community as a whole.  She looks for a mentor who supports and cares for their mentee in every way that they can: in school, in their personal lives, and by encouraging them to always learn and experience new things.

This year we are so proud to announce and celebrate Lisa Gosdschan as our 2012 Mentor of the Year, because she embodies all of those qualities! Throughout her long, and sometimes rocky, relationship with her mentee she never gave up, never stopped caring, and is a perfect example of what a mentor can be given enough time, heart, and devotion. Her work with her mentee, who is now an 8th grader, is beyond the expectations of a mentor, and therefore comes directly from her own intrinsic motivation and spirit. Her story is important to share because it shows how, when given the opportunity, people are capable of immeasurable generosity and compassion.

When I sat down for an interview with Lisa, she told me of all the ways she supports her mentee with her physical, emotional, psychological, and even spiritual health. Lisa is extremely hands on, very involved, and an incredible model of humanitarian work. She is a valuable member of numerous volunteer groups: Mentor Task Force, Kiwanis Club, Catholic Charities (Food Pantry, Special Olympics) and on the board of Alpha Resource Center. Her volunteer work with Ed Cue at Kiwanis, exposed her to the need of mentoring, and inspired her to get involved with more programs within the Santa Barbara community.

           

            Nearly three years ago, Lisa and her mentee met for the first time at their match meeting at her elementary school. It was clear from day one that they were a good match. When I read over her mentee’s pre-match interview, I found that when she was asked 'What type of person would you like to be matched with?' she responded, "Someone who is nice, who cares about me, and knows other languages." It turns out that Lisa speaks French, German, and English. But this is only one small connection among many, such as their shared love of cats, and going to Yogurtland, that make them great. Lisa brought Jolly Ranchers to the match meeting for her mentee and it turned out that that was her favorite candy! The candy was a great conversation starter and it allowed for her normally shy mentee to open up. They were both very enthusiastic about the relationship and her mentee fed off of Lisa’s energy. Lisa identified with her because as a young girl she remembers being shy and reserved also. And then as she grew older Lisa overcame her shyness, became a cheerleader, and got more involved in school and the community. Lisa was immediately excited to share this experience and knowledge with her mentee, to help her blossom, just as Lisa had.

                        For Lisa, sharing her childhood and family experiences with her mentee has been a wonderful and important part of their relationship, but dealing with the differences in their backgrounds and perspectives, and relating to her mentee with understanding and without judgment, has been one of her greatest struggles. Not having any children to base a mentoring relationship on, Lisa put forth what she knew about support and encouragement from growing up in a disciplined and structured military household. Sometimes it was hard for Lisa to understand her mentee’s actions, because she describes that from her own experience growing up "I just never [broke the rules], I just never did anything. I knew there would be consequences and I didn’t want to find out what they were. I never got in trouble, never got suspended, never got anything, and when I met my mentee, her family was totally different. You know, with her father incarcerated, uncle incarcerated, broken family with her mother busy all the time, she didn’t have any consequences. But she was a child, so I figured, you know, it doesn't really matter, this dynamic, obviously she needs someone, and I think it was just a really, really good match for us."

           

            Lisa’s mentee is raised by a single working mother with two other children, one of whom suffers from a difficult mental disability, and therefore her mentee often finds herself without attention or help from her overwhelmed mother. Lisa is more than willing to step into this gap to help her mentee and her mother, and make sure her mentee has regular visits to the doctor and dentist, that she is signed up for important school programs such as the meal plans and correct classes, and takes time to have fun with her mentee and go shopping or walking down State St. Lisa also focuses on encouraging her mentee to increase her involvement in her schoolwork, and after her mentee expressed interest in criminal investigation as a potential career Lisa helped her explore this interest even more and turn it into a motivating goal. Throughout their relationship Lisa has helped her mentee embrace the idea of attaining good grades, going to college, and finding a career path that uses her strengths and sparks her interests. It truly is a great relationship when a mentor can help a mentee see their potential and take steps to reach it.

            I asked Lisa why she gives so much of her time and energy to her mentee she explained that it is a wonderful opportunity to be an positive influence on a young person at a time when they need it most, and talked about how mentoring enriches her life as much as her mentees: "[A mentor] can make someone feel important and show them how they can make others feel important; when you give, you get a lot back.” And after two years of numerous challenges and growth in the relationship, Lisa told me about a time when she 'got a lot back' and truly saw that she was making an impact. Lisa took her mentee on a trip to visit with Lisa's family while they did spring cleaning: "[My mentee] saw everybody do everything together. Everybody would work together, eat together, and we'd be laughing around the table, I don't think that [her mentee’s family] have a dinner table to tell you the truth. Even though cleaning a house isn’t our regular circumstances she just saw a family that was really working hard together, and she had a great time working along side us. I think that was a changing experience for her and she was happy to give back to me and my family." For Lisa this was such a rewarding time with her mentee, and she cherishes the ability to show her different perspectives and the different ways that people, and families, live. This changed her mentee’s worldview, and Lisa said that after this trip there was a positive shift in her demeanor overall, and her attitude towards school. This story, among many, best illustrates Lisa's inclusive approach and dedication, but it also illustrates the possibilities in mentoring, and how something that may seem random can make the greatest impact.

When we asked Lisa's mentee if she could describe her mentor in one word, she chose the word "generous." Not only does this describe Lisa perfectly, but it also describes the soul of a Mentor, someone who is willing to give of themselves to help another. There are Mentors that give an incredible amount of their time, spirit, and support, and some who can only give that one hour a week, but they all make a difference. And then there are Mentors like Lisa, who demonstrates outstanding generosity, support, graciousness, resilience, passion, and compassion that goes above and beyond anything we ask or expect of mentors within the program.

Congratulations, Lisa, for being our 2012 Mentor

of the Year! You truly deserve it!

~Kiana G. Alzate, Creative Media Intern with the Fighting Back Mentor

Program

What do you think? Divorce and Family Issues

What do you think? Divorce and Family Issues

Scenario- Dean is right in the middle of high school in his sophomore year. His parents always used to argue, but he thought that was normal for every family. Then during the summer, his dad started not coming home until really late at night, or on the weekends. This summer, he overheard his parents talking about divorce, and this year of high school just hasn't felt right. Dean doesn't know who to talk to, his older brother is working all the time up north, his younger sister is too young, and he is worried he will upset her more. She cried one night their parents were fighting, and now Dean feels like he has to protect her. Many of his friends at school don't have a dad around, and have always considered him lucky, so Dean is embarrassed to complain or whine about his family drama. He has decided to simply keep quiet about the divorce and just try and keep his sister happy. Unfortunately his mom has been so busy trying to keep everything at home organized that she sometimes forgets to buy enough food and keep the house clean. It has been a struggle for Dean to be a parent to his sister and take care of his schoolwork, her schoolwork, and the house. Dean feels like he is spinning out of control, forgetting homework assignments and often missing class, and so emotional he just doesn’t know how to handle all the changes. He just wants to make things work at home, and be the man of the house since his dad is not around as much. He is unsure of talking to anyone about it, but doesn’t know if he can keep it together on his own.

Questions for Discussion-

1.)   What do you think about Dean's decision to focus on his family and take on adult responsibilities without talking to anyone? What would you do in his situation?

2.)   How do you think Dean feels about the divorce of his parents? Would talking to someone about this situation help him? If so, how?

3.)   Do you think Dean should ask for extra help in school or work something out with his teachers considering his difficult situation? Do you think that his teachers will understand and give him some leniency?

4.)   Have you ever opened up to a teacher, or adult, at school about personal problems that affect your work? What happened, and did it help you?

5.)   Have you, a family member, or close friend been through divorce/family problems? How has that affected you?

Factoids-

**Divorce can be a serious trauma for children of all ages and has many serious potential consequences. Children whose parents have divorced are more likely to be the victims of abuse. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are more frequently involved in drug abuse, and have higher rates of suicide.

**Children of divorced parents also tend to perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math, are more likely to repeat a grade, and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation.

**Children expect and deserve to grow up in a safe and consistent world. Their parents' role is to nurture and protect them, and help them understand the world and their place in it. The dissolution of the family is the single greatest threat to a child's emotional – and often financial or physical– wellbeing. Having their parents publicly declare that they cannot love each other enough to stay together causes a child's sense of security, and their view of the world, to change completely. While they struggle to deal with this immense change, other areas in their lives, such as academics, become a low priority, and this can cause the variety of problems mentioned above.

**Children often believe they have caused the conflict between their parents. Many children assume the responsibility for bringing their parents back together, or protecting younger siblings, sometimes by sacrificing themselves. They need those around them to let them know these are not their responsibilities, and to support them as they try to find a new clear role in their changed world.

**While parents may be devastated or relieved by the divorce, children are invariably frightened and confused by this immense change. Some parents feel so hurt or overwhelmed by the divorce that they may turn to the child for comfort or direction, which can cause greater confusion for the child. Divorce can be misinterpreted by children unless parents tell them what is happening, why it is happening, and what will happen to them moving forward. They also need the support of friends or trusted adults outside the family to help them cope and understand what is going on.

**When there is no viable alternative to divorce, parents must ensure their children's emotional well-being by arranging some form of therapy. Divorce certainly does not condemn a child to a lifetime of unhappiness; many children of divorce have successful relationships and happy lives, but the insecurities caused by their parents’ divorce must be dealt with before this can truly happen. Sometimes just speaking with a therapist or trained counselor a few times can be enough to help them move through the crisis in a healthy way by providing them the understanding and coping strategies they need, but they always need this help.

How Mentors Can Help-

            **Try to talk to your mentee about their family, and the relationships they have with their parents and siblings, and start by sharing about your own family. This can be difficult, and it often takes time for mentees to build a trust with their mentor before they open up about these things. But it is important to discuss family relationships because most of the time there is a direct correlation between a child's mental and academic stability, and their home life/family dynamic. If one parent is absent, or if both parents are working, it is more likely that your mentee will have parental/babysitting responsibilities towards their siblings. These dynamics can sometimes be detrimental to your mentee's study habits and motivation in school, not to mention their emotional state, as they are already being forced to take on adult responsibilities that eclipse less important things like homework or play. Open communication and updates on their family life are keys to successful mentoring so that you know where they are coming from and can provide support.

            **Once you know some of their home situation you can help them by giving them what they may be missing. Sometimes it’s just a person they can talk to who cares, and can help explain why things are the way they are. Someone who can reinforce that their parents love them regardless of how they may be acting. Maybe they need someone to help with school and show them that it is still important, or perhaps they need someone to show them how to be a kid and just have fun and learn experientially. If you are not sure what your mentee needs this is something your case manager might be able to help you with, and we would love to talk about it with you.

            **Asking for help is challenging for everyone, but it can be incredibly helpful to have the school staff know what is going on with a student who is struggling. Encourage your mentee to talk to their teachers or counselor about their family situation if it is at all relevant to their academic work, so that there is a support system in all areas of your mentee's life. This is especially helpful if there is divorce or a sudden absence of a parent that is causing great turmoil in their life. Often times if they speak to a counselor about what they are going through and ask for help that counselor can advocate for them to the teachers for leniency and understanding so your mentee doesn’t need to tell more than one person at school about their personal crisis, which can be difficult enough. The point of this is to avoid unnecessary reprimanding at school that can cause more emotional stress in your mentee, and to reinforce that asking for help from school staff is acceptable and positive.

            **Divorce, and/or sudden changes in the family structure can dramatically change the way a child behaves in and out of school. There are studies and research that shows a child who experience divorce at a younger age has a greater risk of dropping out of school, using drugs or alcohol, and other behavioral problems. If you see warning signs of any potential behavioral problems like these speak to your case manager right away so we can discuss how to help, and potential services available.

            **Sometimes all mentors can do is be there, listen, and support in any way we can. Your mentee might resist anything more than that, and as mentors we don’t want to break their trust by pushing too hard. Remember that you are not responsible for changing everything in their life and just do your best to be the empathetic friend and supportive adult they need in their moment of crisis. Just being there for them will make a huge difference.

**

Check out these websites for more information and tips-

http://dujs.dartmouth.edu/spring-2010/risk-and-resilience-in-children-coping-with-parental-divorce

http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2000/06/the-effects-of-divorce-on-america

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_and_divorce

http://www.chabad.org/blogs/blog_cdo/aid/708492/jewish/Divorce-Facts-and-Myths.htm

What do you think?: Consistency and Communication

Scenario- Silvia has been struggling with junior high since she entered 7th grade last year. She needs a little extra help organizing all of the homework from all of her different classes. Not only does she feel busy at school, but her family isn't doing very well, and her parents have been stressed out with work, and concerned about paying the bills on time. Silvia feels overwhelmed and gets distracted during classes worrying about her family. Then she gets upset that she cannot focus in class, or on her homework. It feels like an unbreakable cycle and she doesn't know what to do.

Normally she talks to her Mentor, who she has been seeing since last year, but unfortunately they haven't been meeting as much this school year. They don't have a consistent meeting day during the week, and most of the time they try to schedule a meeting it doesn't work out, either because Silvia is helping out at home or her Mentor is booked, and they don't meet at all. Silvia is starting to feel that her Mentor is too busy to meet with her, or maybe just doesn’t want to be her mentor anymore. Silvia doesn't want to bother her Mentor too much, so she stops calling and texting because she is worried it might stress her Mentor out, and she is a little upset at how her mentor hasn’t been communicating with her. When her Mentor calls now, Silvia avoids the phone calls and tries to focus on helping her family.

Questions for Discussion-

1. What do you think about this situation? Why are they having so much trouble with communication and consistent meetings?
2. What do you do when you get stressed out about something in your life? Is it hard to open up to someone about it, especially if they are busy with their own drama? Does it help to talk to someone?
3. What do you think will happen if Silvia focuses on her family and drops out of school? Will that really help her family? What could she do instead?
4. Do you think that Silvia's Mentor really stopping caring about her? What could the Mentor do to rebuild Silvia’s trust?
5. What do you think is the best solution for Silvia and her Mentor? How can they both improve their communication and get back on track? 

How Mentors Can Help-

          **When it comes to building a relationship and trust, with your mentee or anyone, the most important aspects are consistency and communication. It is the mentor’s responsibility to move the relationship forward and do the majority of the communication and reaching out to set up meetings, at least at first until a rhythm is established.

**It is important for Mentors to establish consistency with their Mentees early on in the relationship, and especially during the beginning of the school year. A consistent start is a good start, and usually leads to development of good routines and habits. In the beginning of the school year try to set up a consistent day and time for your weekly meeting, and then add on extra time to hang out outside of school if you want, while keeping that same weekly meeting. You can change or experiment with your meeting place(s) depending on what activity/assignment you're doing that day.

**The hardest part of setting up these meetings is communication with your mentee, so if you run into trouble contact your case manager for information on the teacher or school counselor as they are excellent assets to help with this process.

**However, we know that you have your own lives and responsibilities that can throw your routine off track sometimes. When this happens its important to communicate with your mentee not only that you need to reschedule the meeting, but why, and reinforce that you look forward to meeting them on the rescheduled date. This is so that they don’t feel you are just ditching them or that you no longer want to mentor them. Many of the kids we work with are sensitive to rejection so it’s important to be aware of this. If you cannot meet with them try to stay in touch with a text message or phone call so they know you are still there for them.

          **Show your emotional support by asking about them and their about their family. Share what’s going on in your own life so they feel more comfortable opening up and sharing in return. Talk to them about school and how that is going for them. Maybe it is best to separate school and family time; suggest that they do their assignments with you, after school in the library, or during their supervision period so they can focus on fun and family when they are home. When your Mentee knows you understand both their school life and their home life, then they are more likely to reach out when they need help or need advice about something.

September 4th, 2012

What do you think?: Back to School

Scenario-

Martin just started junior high last week and is already feeling a little overwhelmed about having so many different classes, with different teachers, and each having different homework! He sees other kids with lots of binders and folders, color coded pens, and always writing things down. He wonders how he will keep track of his notes and assignments, and if he should buy a binder and folders. His mom never made it past 6th grade so she doesn't know how to help him when he asks her about classes. He thinks about going to one of his teachers and asking him about what he should do, but Martin feels intimidated asking for help since he doesn’t know them. He feels too nervous and thinks it is it's too much work to ask for help. Martin decides he is probably fine to do what he has always done, so he puts his homework away in his backpack to pull it out later at home. He decides this and quickly feels better and goes outside to play with his friends.

Questions for Discussion-

1. What do you think will happen if Martin does not get organized for school and just tries to keep on using his old methods? What would you do in his place?
2. When you get confused about an assignment or anything school related do you ask for help? Who would you go to if you did?
3. What do you do to get organized for school? Do you have a binder? Folders?
4. How do you keep track of your assignments? Do you write things down anywhere?
5. What happens when you just put things in your backpack? How might this method make it difficult to do well in junior high or high school?

 Factoids-

** The basic advantage of doing homework is : in a well-run class, doing the homework prepares students for taking the exams. This does not mean that exam problems are like homework exercises; it means that students who put a lot of time and effort into homework tend to do better in exams than students who do not. But there's an additional advantage: doing the homework helps students to learn the material better. By reading a text, a student can memorize facts; by doing homework, a student can learn how to use those facts [1].

**Beliefs regarding the positive non-academic effects of homework include that it:

• develops or improves attitudes about school and learning,

• develops or increases organizational and time management skills,

• increases the opportunity for independent problem solving,

• develops positive attitudes toward learning and school,

• develops self-direction and self-discipline,

• promotes inquisitiveness and exploration, and

• promotes the understanding that learning extends beyond the school walls [2].

** In a 2007 study data collected showed 95.0 of elementary student and secondary students reported that they completed homework outside of school [3].

** Average hours per week spent by elementary and secondary students who do homework outside of school was 9.2 hours for elementary students and 8.8 hours for secondary students [3].

**A higher percentage of Black students (83 percent) had parents who reported that they checked to make sure that their students' homework was done, compared with parents of White students (57 percent), Asian students (59 percent), and students of two or more races (66 percent).  In addition, 76 percent of Hispanic parents reported checking homework, higher than the percentage of White or Asian parents who did so [4].

** Homework has shown to have a positive impact on achievement in comparison to no homework. The impact of homework varies by grade level and is greatest for older students. Homework had twice as large an effect at high school as at junior high. In turn, the impact at junior high was twice as large in comparison to elementary school. Marzano and Pickering (2007) note the following effect size and average percentile gains [1]:

Grades 4-6: Effect Size = .15 (Percentile gain = 6 points)

Grades 7-9: Effect Size = .31 (Percentile gain = 12 points)

Grades 10-12: Effect Size = .64 (Percentile gain = 24 points)

How Mentors Can Help-

**Ask your Mentee about their daily routine with school and homework, and share your own experiences with school. Help them identify areas that they might be able to improve their organization or practices to make their life easier and less stressful. The beginning of the school year is a great time to create new and better habits!

           

**If they are transitioning to Junior High ask them how they feel about having more than one teacher. This can help you gauge their levels of anxiety, excitement, maybe if they are overwhelmed, and then help them find fun ways to organize themselves and explain how that might help ease the transition into their new schedules and routines and reduce stress.

Some people love to color code while others may want multiple binders or colored folders etc, so be open to their ideas about how they want to organize.

**Ask your Mentee if they ask for help on certain assignments or if they talk to a teacher at school, maybe an AVID teacher or counselor.

**It is important as a Mentor to begin every school year with consistent meet-ups. It is essential for the relationship to have a routine and consistency (especially at the beginning of the school year), so that you can establish that you are there for them. Make it known to them that you are available during this busy transition time and try to set up a consisted day and time to meet with them on or off campus.

**Talk to them about their homework habits,  especially where and when they do their work. If they feel overwhelmed by all of the work talk to them about ways to make it easier like breaking it up into manageable chunks with short breaks in between for fun and games or relaxation. And definitely try to reinforce the idea that work gets done before play. This website explains how  "creating a homework station" can improve good study/assignment habits:  http://www.simplify101.com/back-to-school-organizing-tips.php

 http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/764-ready-set-back-to-school

http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/738-eating-sleeping-and-learning

http://www.healthychildren.org/english/news/pages/back-to-school-tips.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token

References:

1. McColm., G. (n.d.). About homework . Retrieved from http://shell.cas.usf.edu/~mccolm/pedagogy/HW.html

2. George , M. (2007). Got homework?. The Association of California School Administrators, Retrieved from http://www.acsa.org/FunctionalMenuCategories/Media/PositionPapers/GotHomework.aspx

     3. Youth indicators 2011, america’s youth: Transitions to adulthood. (2011, December ). Retrieved from http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2012/2012026/chapter4_35.asp

     4. Digest of Education Statistics http://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d11/tables/dt11_166.asp